October 14, 2006

Tigers 6, A's 3

First, you got the NLCS. Now, the ALCS. Tigers! A's! The Postseason on Fox! With us today, Thom Brennaman, Angels announcer Jose Mota, and "Sweet" Lou Piniella. The "Sweet" is not for his personality. Apparently, Psycho Steve Lyons has been fired for a racially insensitive comment in yesterday's game. Oakland is in a 3-0 hole after everyone except Milton Bradley forgot how to hit for three games. Where's the Big Hurt? Anyhow, Bonderman goes for Detroit and Haren pitches for the A's in hopes of preventing a riot in downtown Detroit, at least for one night.

A.J. Pierzynski and Eric Byrnes are part of the pregame show, as if we needed further proof that Fox has completely lost touch with actual baseball fans. By the way, Janet thinks Jeanne Zelasko is ugly. I don't get it.

Top 1 0-0
Bonderman punches out Kendall on a 97 mile per hour heater to kick things off here in the Motor City. Following a walk to Kotsay, Milton Bradley, the only A who can hit in this series, steps to the plate and hammers a run-scoring double into right center.

By the way, it's apparently OK for Brennaman and Lyons to make fun of a blind guy, but when Lyons makes some good-natured jabs at Piniella, he gets fired.

Bradley takes off for third on a foul, and he comes up lame with a quad injury. Looks like he'll stay in the game, which is good, since the more Bradley we get, the more chances for him to do something crazy like steal a hotdog from a 7 year old in the front row. Oh, and Thomas pops out.

Chavez doubles just over first base scoring Bradley, and a fan picks up the ball. I hope they kick that guy out.

Brennaman and Piniella have a discussion about the GED, which Piniella has never heard of. Shouldn't you have to pass some sort of basic test before getting a microphone on national TV?

Sweet throw by Inge from behind third to end the inning. Bonderman looks a little shaky.

Bottom 1 2-0 A's
Janet thinks Dan Haren looks like a clown. Bad hair is a prevalent on Oakland's white guys.

Leadoff walk, which can kill you. Seriously, Haren should see a doctor in between innings to make sure he's not dying. He recovers to strike Monroe out, prompting Europe to decide that they will continue to colonize the Americas (come on, Monroe Doctrine? never mind). Polanco grounds out to second, moving up the runner. Magglio K's on a nasty splitter to end the inning. Someone needs to hit a ball to right so I can see how gimpy Bradley really is.

Top 2 2-0 A's
Swisher, the captain of the Bad Hair Crew, flies out to get things going. He looks like he would be fun to punch. Guillen takes a grounder to get out number 2. How many teams use their starting shortstop as the backup first baseman? Jimenez grounds into the third out on the first pitch, and this inning is over before I can come up with a passable joke about international relations, or at least talk about how much fun it is when there's a guy named Scutaro involved.

Bottom 2 2-0 A's
Two quick groundouts to start the inning. I think the teams want to get things finished here before the sun goes down and it gets really cold. Alexis Gomez didn't get the memo and lines one into left. The pitch he hit was barely off the ground, but he got to it. After a wild pitch to move Gomez over, Inge gets the Tigers back on track and strikes out.

OK, so WebMD has medical info. Who is competing with them that they need commercials during nationally televised playoff games?

Top 3 2-0 A's
Kendall and his huge goatee strike out for the second time. Kotsay gets a good swing at a ball, but lines right to Ordonez. Then Bradley singles to center, even though he appears to barely be able to run. Thomas flies out again, making him 0-12 this series, which is not a good recipe for success.

Just what I need, a car I can plug a guitar into.

Bottom 3 2-0 A's
Brennaman has been pretty subdued. I think he's afraid he'll get fired like his booth buddy Lyons.

Santiago tries to bunt for a hit, but gets thrown out by Haren. It's quite the testament to their pitching that the Tigers can have Sean Casey (who isn't good) as their first baseman, have him get hurt, move Guillen over to first, insert Santiago (who can't hit), yet still be a game away from sweeping the series.

Someone should tell the Tigers that Haren throws the splitter with 2 strikes, as Granderson flails at one. Monroe then goes down looking at a pitch right down the middle.

Oh, by the way, the Buckeyes are laying a royal whooping on Michigan State. Here, watch the Michigan State coach slap himself after a loss to Illinois:


Top 4 2-0 A's
After an out, Jay Payton drops one over the left field fence. I think I mixed up left and right field on the Beltran homer the other day. Now the punchable Swisher comes up. I hate it when hitters put their hand up to "call time" while digging into the box. The ump never calls time, and the pitcher never throws the ball. Derek Jeter does it too, which proves he's not so great. Swisher gets his first hit of the series, takes a wide turn, and falls down, but makes it back to first. Inge makes a nice play on a slow chopper to get the second out. Can you believe he used to be a catcher? Jimenez lines out to center, but the A's tack one on.

Bottom 4 3-0 A's
Polanco reaches on a single, bringing up Ordonez, who flies out. Before that, we got to talk to Ken Macha. These guys never have anything interesting to say. Polanco alertly heads to second on ball in the dirt. Polanco has a big head, literally. Guillen walks on four pitches, bringing Pudge up to the plate with 1 out and runners on first and second. His plate discipline is usually suspect, so let's see if he waits for a good one here. He strikes out on three pitches. Two down for Gomez who breaks his bat on a slow roller to short, ending the inning.

Top 5 3-0 A's
Kendall grounds out weakly. At least he didn't strike out this time, but this isn't what you hope for from the leadoff guy. He should shave. Kotsay pops out, says a bad word, and slams his bat on the ground. Bradley also pops out. Doesn't he realize he has to win this series by himself? He's the Oakland Pujols.

Bottom 5 3-0 A's
Inge taps one to third, and a perfect throw probably wouldn't have got him, but Chavez throws it away and Inge trots to second. This is a big at bat here with no outs. Santiago advances the runner with a ground out to the right side. Now we get to talk to Leyland. My dad doesn't believe he's only 61 years old. Nice piece of hitting there to bring in the run. Granderson took advantage of Bradley's bum leg to turn the single into a double. Here come the Tigers. Monroe doubles after Payton just misses the diving catch, and Detroit gets another run and brings the go-ahead run to the plate with one out and a man on second. Ooh, double play liner to end the inning, but things are veddy interesting now.

Top 6 3-2 A's
Thomas leads off with a walk on four balls, and then Chavez swings at the first pitch. I think the Chavez superstar train derailed sometime this spring. Anyhow, fielder's choice. Polanco slightly misplays the Payton grounder and decides to make the play himself, making the DP impossible. At least he got one out. Swisher, get a haircut, and try not to weakly ground out to first next time. We go to the bottom!

Bottom 6 3-2 A's
And here we are. This MacGyver commercial (yeah, I know it's old) is something else. That show went off the air 14 years ago. More people today might know Richard Dean Anderson as Colonel Jack O'neill from Starget SG-1. Yeah, probably not.

First pitch, and Magglio banishes the ball to the outfield seats. If the stands wouldn't have stopped it, that ball would have gone around the world and hit Ordonez in the back of the head. We are tied up here in Detroit.

Guillen follows with a single. I think the Tigers have decided to swing whenever they see a fastball, and it showed last inning and so far in this one. Haren is done, and here comes Joe Kennedy and his big gut. I wish I was tall and left-handed. And could throw a good slider. I'd have a bigger apartment then. Outstanding play by Chavez and a good stretch by Swisher to get Pudge out. Another ball in the dirt, and another alert baserunning play by a Tiger as Guillen shows no hesitation to make it a runner on third and 1 out. Alexis Gomez strikes out on more than one questionable call. Intentional walk to Inge, bringing up "Where in the World is Carmen" Santiago. I always wonder how much it hurts when a foul tip goes back and hits the catcher in the face. Full Count, 1st and 2nd...flyout.

Top 7 3-3
SCUTARO!...grounds out, as the Buckeyes wrap up a 38-7 smackdown. Bonderman's breaking balls seem to have more bite now than they did earlier in the game. Don't know what to make of it. Kendall bounces one off of Bonderman and into right field. That brings on Tyler Walker to pitch to the lefty Kotsay with 2 down. Running it to a full count, Walker gets the K. Stretch time, and you should be sorry you missed this game, if you actually did.

Bottom 7 3-3
Granderson flies out after earlier showing bunt. Was he really planning to bunt to start the inning? Did he think he could beat it out? Will my stock portfolio turn a profit this year? Who really knows? Monroe walks, bringing up Polanco, followed by Ordonez. Polanco singles, bringing Ordonez up with runners on 1st and 2nd. Kiko Calero relieves Kennedy, and promptly walks Ordonez, bringing up the best hitter on the Tigers, Carlos Guillen. Macha goes to the closer. Gee, did this guy go to the Tony La Russa School of Bullpen Management? Guillen chokes, grounding into a double play to keep the game tied. If Oakland wins, this will be the play that gets talked about.

You know, they always talk about these great batting averages with the bases loaded. Do they realize that sac flies don't count against you with the bases loaded, but they're just a popup the rest of the time?

Top 8 3-3
Grilli relieves to start the inning. Another hit for Bradley. The rest of the A's are in the dugout trying to injure each other's legs. Thomas remains O-for-the-series, grounding into a DP. Four pitch walk to Chavez, which may have been semi-intentional. Payton, who homered earlier, is up. Another four pitch walk. Grilli stays in to pitch to Swisher and starts off with his ninth straight pitch out of the zone. There's #10. And there's #11. And #12. Leyland, go get him! And he does. They went from 2 out and nobody on, and 12 pitches later, the bases are loaded. Ledezma relieves the wild Grilli and starts with a ball. But he does finally throw a strike. Popup, and Pudge squeezes it to get out of the inning.

Bottom 8 3-3
Pudge almost holds up on strike three, but he doesn't. You are the weakest link, goodbye. Huston Street is the rare closer who pitches from the windup with no runners on. Gomez strikes out on a pitch in the dirt. He never looked comfortable out there. Close play on a grounder by Inge, but he is out and we go to the ninth. I'm not sure I want extra innings. Can't the Tigers just put them away in regular time?

Top 9 3-3
Kendal raps a one out single. That's a good word. Raps. Kotsay really has the "I'm so disgusted with that popup" look down cold. Two down. Bradley just gets under it and flies out to the track in right.

Bottom 9 3-3
It's a commercial, and I'm predicting a pinch hitter for Santiago. Ha ha, I was right. Marcus Thames makes his first appearance since game 1. Easy flyout, and his appearance likely means we get to see Neifi! if the Tigers don't score. Granderson hopes to get on, because he's grand. There's a guy that looks like Chris Farley with a mustache sitting next to the Tigers GM. Hard liner to right, and Bradley somehow gimps over there to backhand it. He'll need some ice later. Monroe bats as the Tigers try to avoid extra frames. Base hit, and the inning continues for Polanco, looks cold. Single to right, but the runner holds at second. Ordonez can be the hero here. Sweet fancy Moses! Magglio towers his second homerun, and the Tigers (yes, those Tigers) are going to the World Series.

They will be well rested, since the NLCS is tied at 1 game apiece.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was one of those NOT watching this game. I was at Docs Who Rock at EJ Thomas with the Havers.

I made calls to my Dad and Debbie called her Dad to keep us up to date with the game.

MRV