October 12, 2006

NLCS Game 1 Live Blog

I'll be blogging a portion of tonight's Mets/Cardinals game to open the 2006 NLCS. Right now, it's 0-0 entering the third inning. Neither Tom Glavine nor Jeff Weaver (the bad Weaver brother) have given up a hit in the first two. This is pretty long, so pack a lunch as we start learning who will lose to the Tigers in the World Series.

Top 3rd 0-0
Cliff Floyd pulled up lame during his at bat in the 2nd and was replaced by Endy Chavez. What do you suppose "Endy" is short for? Anyhow, back to the game. Wright makes a diving stop of a low liner for the first out, which brings us to one of the Flying Molinas. He dinks one into right center. There goes the perfect game. You suck, Glavine, way to choke in the playoffs again. On cue, he gives up a hit to the pitcher.

By the way, Luis Gonzalez is running circles around McCarver in the booth.

Up to try to break the scoreless tie, David Eckstein. He's the only major leaguer who might be smaller than me. I think the Mets have all nine players in the infield. Mighty Mite lines into a DP, ending the threat. Way to go, shorty.

Bottom 3rd 0-0
Those Holiday Inn commercials are intermittently funny, but never make me want to stay there. For my money, the best commercial these days is "Eat the Sandwich!" from Jon Lovitz and Subway.

Hey look, Pedro! Up now, Shawn Green. Remember back when he was actually good? Those were the days. Green singles to short center. McCarver now gives us a pearl of wisdom, letting us know that it's best to not throw pitches the hitters want.

Here's Glavine. Will he bunt? Probably. I remember when he tripled with the bases loaded in the World Series that one time. Bad bunt and the only thin Molina throws out the Green.

Jose Reyes comes up while Glavine fumes, cursing the fact he has to run now. Reyes has funny hair. He grounds into the fielder's choice. I'm not sure Glavine even left first.

Top 4th 0-0
After a groundout, we get Pujols. The announcers talk about him like he's Derek Jeter or something. Of course, the difference is that he actually deserves it. Glavine wants no part of him and Poo Holes strolls to first. Batting next, Juan Encarnacion? Way to protect your slugger there, genius La Russa guy. I'd walk Pujols too. Shallow fly to center, and Beltran throws behind a wandering Pujols for the unlikely 8-3 double play. The Wandering Pujols would be a good name for a rock band. One that occasionally employs a banjo.

Bottom 4th 0-0
Somebody score already. "Heart and Soul" Lo Duca grounds out. Why does La Russa wear sunglasses at night, but then take them off to talk to McCarver and Buck? If you're going to be a poser, go all the way. Beltran had the lowest home batting average in baseball? People wanted to make him the MVP with that stat? He subsequently grounds out. This is Shea Stadium after all. After a walk, All-American boy David Wright pops up to end the inning.

Are you ready, Weaver! Then spin the Wheel of Fish? (come on, click the link)

Top 5th 0-0
I think Scott Rolen is held together by duct tape, paper clips, and the collective hate of the city of Philadelphia. Yet another infield popup. Jim Edmonds and his soggy noggin come up. He really wrecked my fantasty team this year, so I hope Glavine beans him. On second thought, Glavine can't throw much harder than Janet, so it wouldn't hurt. Oh, now he gets a hit. Jerk. If Ronnie Belliard can play second base in the big leagues, fat guys everywhere should have hope. Diving catch by "Endy," who initially misjudges the ball before recovering. Gimpy Floyd would've given up a triple. Boy, McCarver loves catchers. Of course, who wouldn't love a Molina, who walks. Pretty Boy Weaver strikes out. No red snapper for you!

Bottom 5th 0-0
This is our country, but I still don't think we should use Hurricane Katrina, Rosa Parks, and Vietnam to sell trucks. Geez, did you know John Cougar Mellencamp was born with mild spina bifida and had neurosurgery at three weeks old. He also was once in a band called Snakepit Banana Barn.

I'll just sit here and depreciate. Nothing happened in this inning except the world's most boring interview with Willie Randolph. Can a grown man be named Willie?

Top 6th 0-0
You want to see something good with that "Don't Hold Back" song? Try this one from your current 66kg bronze medalist.

Somebody is on for Albert "I am not on Steroids" Pujols. Glavine should be very careful here. Hard liner right at Reyes for the out. Mets dodged a bullet there. Well, except Reyes; he caught it. I missed what happened next when the phone rang. Suffice it to say I'm now watching Tommy Lasorda telling me to watch baseball. Mission Accomplished Tommy.

Bottom 6th 0-0
In attendance tonight: Tim Robbins, Matt Dylan, Bill Belichick, Ron Howard, and Donald Trump. Hey, where's Billy Crystal? Groundout Reyes, who got his own musical montage. I don't think moving Reyes over to second as a rookie was one of the biggest mistakes in NYC history, as McCarver blathers. Call me crazy. Lo Duca squirts one through the left side, bringing up the big guns. Finally, some stinking runs as Beltran overcomes Shea Stadiums grip and tattoos one off the scoreboard in left. Let's see if we get a Weaver meltdown here. Double from Delgado, as the Cardinal bullpen kicks it into high gear. After a free pass to Wright, Weaver's night is done, and here comes Tyler Johnson to pitch to "Endy." No further damage as we go to the 7th.

Top 7th 2-0 Mets
"Endy upended." Thanks, Tim. Never speak to me again. Oh, and the Cardinals go meekly in their half of the inning. Perhaps they will inherit the earth.

This has nothing to do with anything other than my brain, but "Cliffs of Dover" by guitarist Eric Johnson is pretty awesome. Listen to it by clicking here.

Bottom 7th 2-0 Mets
Shawn Green is up, reminding me that all the Shawns/Seans/Shauns/etc. in the world should get together and figure out how to spell their names.

By the way, my giant 19in monitor freaks out every once in a while when the screen goes inactive. It makes vertical blue lines that sometimes move around. I'm typing this on Janet's laptop.

Green steals on the strikeout pitch. One down as the ageless wonder Julio Franco pinch hits, ending Glavine's night. Franco is 48 years old, started his major league career before my sister was born, is friends with President Bush, and once got a hit off Bob Feller. Ok, I made that last one up. He strikes out, and it's time for another pitching change, and Reyes pops out as we go to the 8th.

Top 8th 2-0 Mets
You know, I was almost an extra in "Prison Break." I sent them my stuff and they called a few times, but I couldn't go any of the times thanks to work. Now, they're not filming in Chicago anymore.

Guillermo Mota comes in to pitch. His name means "speck" in Spanish, even though he's 6'6". Also, Eckstein, who draws a 2 out walk, means "cornerstone" in German, though it should be "speck."

Preston Wilson's stepdad is Mookie Wilson! Who knew? Popout, and Pujols will lead off the top of the ninth, where he can only drive himself in.

Bottom 8th 2-0 Mets
I want an HDTV. Anyways, Joe Buck just said it was October 11th, which it's not. Also, FoxTrax isn't as cool as K-Zone.

Delgado doubles, bringing runners to 2nd and 3rd with one out. Can they break it wide open this inning? So far, so good for the Cards, as Wright grounds out to 2nd. 2 down for "Endy." First pitch lineout to soggy head Edmonds. Here comes POO HOLES!

Top 9th 2-0 Mets
Pujols lines out hard to Delgado. Fourth lineout for the Cards, second for Pujols. Hot grounder up the middle, but Valentin throws Encarnacion out by a step. One out left for the Cards. All Rolen has to do is pretend the ball is Larry Bowa's face. He walks. Wagner knew he didn't have a chance against Bowa-hate. Scott Spiezio pinch hits. His red line of facial hair is distracting. Did you know he used to be in a band called Sandfrog? Flyout to 2nd and this thing is over. Glavine, Mota, and Wagner combine on the shutout. Gee, if Pujols doesn't do it himself, can this Cards team score? John "Remember the" Maine goes tomorrow for the Mets against Chris Carpenter. Thanks for reading.

No comments: