April 12, 2005

25 Thoughts

It seems to me that NC State students who have brand new iPods, $70 a month cell phone plans, and no college loans should reevaluate their lives before going to protest a $300 tuition increase.

In the upset of the young century, Janet dove headfirst into Fantasy Baseball with unprecedented gusto. No word on whether she'd have been as excited if she didn't have Manny and Big Papi on her team.

I wonder if poor Josh Cragg has any other friends.

If you weren't the pope, would you want to be? It seems like a hard job.

I know someone who refuses to eat leftovers.

For my money, the most common grammatical speech error is ending sentences with prepositions.

I've lived in North Carolina for 20 months, and I still cringe when referred to as "y'all." I don't think that will ever go away.

Janet baptized the kitchen with balsamic vinegar yesterday. It was a real mess.

Some people take their barbecue eating very seriously and get into heated arguments about which kind is better. I've had pretty much all of them, and, when it comes down to it, I'd rather just have a cheeseburger.

The only barbecue argument I'm willing to have is to vigorously defend the fact that the only true barbecue, by definition, is pork that has been smoked. You can sauce it however you like, for all I care, but I remain culinarily correct.

Mitch Albom, in addition to being a scab, can't tell the future.

I'm tired of the Boston Red Sox. OK, that's not true. I'm tired of Red Sox Nation. Both Chicago teams have waited longer than Boston, so let's all keep that in mind.

I've seen people go backwards on an elliptical trainer on multiple occasions, but I still haven't figured out why.

If you insist on putting song lyrics anywhere in your blog, at least make sure you don't ever repeat songs. If I want to put "West End Girls" by the Pet Shop Boys in my blog, OK, but I better only do it once.

I think the level of panic at college campuses across the country is very palpable this time of year as thousands of jobless seniors try to figure out what they're going to do with themselves after they graduate while simultaneously sensing the end of their careless college lifestyles.

I saw Joe Morgan on ESPN Sunday Night Baseball the other day. He's not in midseason form yet, so his comments almost sound smart. It will take a few months for him to really be dumb.

Do you care whether or not Britney Spears is pregnant? I know I sure don't.

I'm thinking about changing my name to Kennedy and moving to Massachusetts. I'd be governor by the end of the week.

I eat a lot of onions. I wonder if they're good for you...OK, just checked; they have vitamins B and C, antioxidants, and something that helps raise good cholesterol. Pardon my breath.

I think the ultimate insult would be having someone steal your identity, then bring it back three days later with a note saying, "It just wasn't worth taking."

Remember the Siegfried and Roy commercial for Sprint? "You got any gummi bears?" "Whatever's on the shelf there, chief." Still slays me, and I haven't seen it in at least a year.

I think life would be more exciting if the 40 yard dash was a part of every job interview and not just for players in the NFL draft. "Well, Jim, you've got impressive experience as a tax accountant. Now let's go outside and see if you can break 6 seconds."

I'm thinking I might start hitchhiking to work. Think of the gas money I'll save.

Whoever is responsible for Jimmy Fallon's film career needs to be tracked down and beaten severely.

I think my job would be more enjoyable if there was a water slide from the third floor down to the parking lot.

1 comment:

Jimmy said...

Here are my remarks for each thought:

Typical college students...Remember the ones that laid on the ground outside the dinner hall with chalk outlines? What were they protesting?


Who knows.

Definately not.

What's their deal?

Where'd you get that idea from?

Diddo..Well except for the living in NC part.


I'd prefer the hamburger.


I'm just pleased I know who Mitch Albom is.

No I'm tired of both.

Ever see anyone just use one pedal and both feet? I have video...

"One time I blew, a bubble so big, inside of the bubble was a little kid. Little kid come out and he said to me 'SHWAH?' I said, 'Get your hand off my hot dog that is one thing...Can't touch.'"

I'm still panicing and it's been 2 years since I've graduated.

Just give it time.

She's still hot.

You give it that long?

Onions give one of my family members gas...


Let's not forget the big flame ball. "WHA."

I'm thinking about riding my bike to work...Once I buy one.


I once wanted a waterslide that went from my bedroom window into my neighbor's pool. I got Soap-On-A-Rope instead.