October 21, 2004

Live from Raleigh, it's Game Seven

Here it is, my running diary of game 7 in the Bronx. This one's for Squeeze, wherever he is.

8:23 - Rocky music playing as Joe Buck gives the requisite schlocky Fox introduction that I’m sure Vikki loved.

8:25 – Does anyone know Tim McCarver’s real hair color?

8:30 – And we’re under way. Let’s hope Johnny Damon’s haircut and beard trim doesn’t sap his strength, Samson style.

8:36 – I think Manny Ortez is up.

8:40 – Big Papiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

8:46 – Just for the record, Derek Lowe scares the heck out of Janet and me.

9:00 – Don’t want to jinx it, but it doesn’t look like Brown has it tonight.

9:07 – And it’s the showers for Kevin Brown, who has had a series to forget. He’s the Skin of ALCS pitchers.

9:10 – I think it’s safe to say Johnny Damon should go shave his head right now, since the haircut has done him good. His new nickname is “Slammy.”

9:33 – I’m sure Terry Francona wants to get to the World Series as much as any of them, but it is keeping him from his usual job as David Letterman’s band leader.

9:46 – How many former ballplayers do you think would be better announcers than Tim McCarver? 300? 400?

9:52 – Slammy goes yard again. 8-1 Sox. Janet’s catatonic right now.

9:59 – It’s the top of the fourth, and the Yankees have already burned through $25 million worth of pitchers.

10:00 – You’re risking a patient’s life!!!

10:15 – We’re through four, and Derek Lowe is looking frisky, if I do say so myself.

10:20 – Mueller just kicked the ball into short right field on a grounder by Slammy. This kind of good fortune is supposed to happen to the Yankees, not the Sox.

10:23 – The Sox have now squandered both a bases loaded with one out and a second and third with one out, yet they still lead by seven runs. Of course, I’m sure the Sons of Sam Horn message board is buzzing with doom and gloom.

10:36 – By the way, Janet thinks Jeanne Zelasko is ugly.

10:40 – You’d never know it listening to the announcers, but Derek Jeter is having a seriously crappy series. His plate discipline is awful and his fielding is its usual atrocious self.

10:55 – Stretch time in New York. Ok, I’ll say it; Ronan Tynan walks like a duck. The guys in the St. Louis-Houston game sounded way better, and they didn’t look like a heart attack waiting to happen.

11:00 – Pedro comes in to pitch on one day of rest. Is this a reverse Grady Little or what? Why couldn’t Lowe keep working on his one hitter? This better work out.

11:10 – This is one nerve wracking 7th inning. Francona only knows why Pedro is in this game, but we’ll let it slide on two conditions: 1) Only one inning for Pedro, and 2) Pedro keeps tossing mid-90’s heaters.

11:12 – And Pedro gets out of it. Somebody sit him down until the World Series.

11:15 – Mark Bellhorn! Whooooooooooooo!!!! I’m usually in bed an hour and a half ago.

11:17 – Is there such a thing as a good mustache? Can I get a ruling here?

11:21 – All right, I admit I’m intrigued by National Treasure.

11:26 – We’re approaching Greg Norman territory here.

11:30 – Three More Outs! Three More Outs!

11:47 – The Sox tack on an insurance run as Red Sox Nation starts to realize what’s going on here. They aren’t going to blow this one, are they?

11:52 – Yankee fans are the worst, aren’t they? Ok, so they’re losing, but do they need to throw stuff on the field for the second straight day?

11:55 – One out from pandemonium. Torre really got outmanaged this series, didn’t he? He wore out his relievers down the stretch, and then misused them in the playoffs.

12:00 – As the clock strikes 12, it’s Reese to first for the final out. We’ll see you back in Boston on Saturday. I’ll have more analysis later. Now, I’m going to bed.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

and that might be the most interesting that anyone has EVER made baseball. Nice, Andy. You are a champ. Btw... did anyone else who could care less about the game feel like somehow they just wanted to see the Yankees lose? I dunno what it is... they are like that mean kid in elementary school who was good at everything - but unlike that kid in elementary school, the Yankees are getting paid enough money that there is no reason why they should lose a game... ever. maybe Steinbrenner should start buying the umpires instead of the players. Just a thought.